Maybe this year...

It's 2022. Another year, another learning to live. 

I survived 2021 without getting infected by Covid regardless of any variant there is, however, this year, I lost my dear cousin due to Covid, a very unexpected one. 

I thought last year I would go mad, but that didn't happen. I was able to go home to the Philippines and stayed there for a month, didn't manage to travel around due to numerous restrictions in place but at least I got to see and spend time with my family. 

I switched positions within the same company - I wanted to challenge myself to do more. It was a great move. 

I visited Austria and Slovenia last summer, which reminded me how much I love traveling. 

Finally, I met and got to spend some time with my dear one. Traveled a couple of times there too, had a funny lovely chat with the immigration officers back in Manchester =)

I got myself a ragdoll kitten, I called him Ery. Pain in the ass for sure. This impulsive decision was due to my broken heart in August in UK.

I spent Christmas alone and I got myself very drunk before new year's eve. Though I managed to salvage my new year. Danced and sang along. 

I successfully passed two work certifications, and my theory and practical driving tests in Czech, I'm quite healthy I think, I laughed, I cried, I was happy, I was sad, I was broken, I was lonely, I was scared.

And as the year 2021 ends, all I have is misery. 

As I began 2022, I wish to hope, I wish to be loved, I wish to be wanted.

Maybe this year, I will win the lottery? 

Maybe this year, he would come?

Maybe this year, he would ask me to travel with him?

Maybe this year, he would want me to be part of his life too?

or Maybe this year, none of this will happen and I will just move on.

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The World is on The Recovery Process

It always amaze me how time flies, can't believe it's already 2021 and I am writing to my blog after a very long time. It feels like I was lost in dimensions.

In late 2019, I made a big move! I bought a flat, and moved in April 2020, precisely the reason why I am broke. 

2020 is certainly not the best year for everyone in the world, probably one of the worst nightmares anyone could possibly have. Due to the coronavirus (Covid-19), many people have lost their jobs, closed businesses, unable to travel, go to restaurants, concert, spa and not even a visit to a salon. We were mostly on the total lockdown. I spent a year in my flat, luckily, I got my friend living with me, until she left, that's when I started to feel emptiness. It could be very lonely, but I do not wish to take in another person to live with me. I missed spending Christmas and New Year with my family. I was scared to travel, so I really was just at home. I have no right to complain cos others have it worse. 

And since I am at home most of the time, I only see things for improvement in my flat :D I just cannot help it, I keep wanting to change things. 

I don't talk much, not even speak my mind, feel like I'm reaching my limit, so before I lose my sanity, I decided to go back home - Philippines. It was so much hassle and costly since I needed to do the PCR Test, definitely not a pleasant experience. 

When I arrived at the airport, and when I was on the plane and the transit connection, deep down inside me, I was very sad, the normally very busy areas are now empty. The traveling industry is very badly hit due to this pandemic that the world is experiencing and trying to fight with. 

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If I win in the lottery, I would like to build a school for underprivileged kids.

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If I am nature's fairy, I would turn all garbage into something 'earthy'. Small plastics on the land will turn into a flower or small plant or grass, big ones will become trees, if it's in the ocean, it will be sea creatures or sea plants. How lovely the world will be? And to punish any human being who will still destroy our nature, I will make sure that if they do not throw their trash properly, it will stick into their body, or maybe they will turn little by little into a tree. Wouldn't be a waste, isn't it? 

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My 2019 Random thoughts

I'm having random thoughts again. I've been inactive in the last 2 years and yet I can't think of anything significant that I did. I did not touch anyone's life nor made my life better. But my life isn't bad, it's actually good considering that I'm alive, I have family & friends, I can travel, I can eat 3 times a day, I don't work on weekends nor do overtime job and I get to have my lazy moments - that's why I have no right to complain.

I'm just thinking what life is, for other people? How can they say that they have a good life? or a meaningful life?
Are we not trying to just get by and wait till we die?

I keep thinking of my aspiration whenever I go for a walk and when I go to sleep. It would be so great if I can really establish a school for underprivileged kids all over the country - to provide them shelter, education, food and teach them how to survive the world until they are capable to stand on their own.

I also like the idea of sponsoring kids to help them achieve higher education.

And of course, how can I help our nature when the biggest problem is the people. I cannot get rid of those who have bad habits of abusing our environment. Even if you teach them, it just won't work. Humans are such stubborn creatures. If only I can cast a spell to turn all small garbages into flowers, bigger ones into a tree and the rest will be other plants that bear fruits and vegetables. How lovely the world will be.
And as punishment for those will continue to litter - it will be stick to their body. I wish people will treat nature as if their own life -to value and love it.

As for people who aim to harm others -- hmm, what could be the best punishment for them? Every time they try to hurt others, they will feel the pain they inflict on others. I wonder what the world will be like?

Why do I feel like I'm only living to get by? What's having a stable job, earnings and a house means in life? There must be something more.

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Happiness is a choice. Choose to be Happy

Life is really full of surprises. It's almost the end of the year - yeah, 2017, and I keep on rocking!

I received so many blessings which I am very thankful for.
I've always been a quitter, YES I DO. I am very much in love in Violin, so when I graduated and have the means to afford it, I bought one and started learning... But it was difficult,  I quit.
I have always been like that for the past years, quitting when I find things difficult or at least complicated.

But this year is different. All I do is keep moving forward. I became the person I always wanted to be.

This year, I met amazing people who taught me about passion. To Petr, thanks for teaching me that I can also play the guitar. I hope I can still remember how to play some chords of Spanish romance.
To Jan, it's amazing to meet a person who is so calm and have very positive views on life. To my dear friend, Madam, thank you for always reminding me how awful singer I am and that I should keep practicing to improve.

To Tomas, thanks for letting me go and spread my wings. We had our good and bad times, but I'll be happy to remember the good ones only.

To all the amazing people I met this year, I'm so blessed to have met and share smiles with you. It has been the most awesome year I have.

I have my ups and downs, and whenever I am sad, I will take a holiday, reflect on all my actions, figure out the cause and solution to my sadness, and deal with it, so when I return, I'm a newborn person full of optimism and positive attitude towards life. I do not like dragging people down, all I want is to help others see how beautiful life is and how great it is to be alive.

If I were to count all my blessings this year, I will be a billionaire. I'm thankful that I am alive, I have the people who care about me. I was finally out of my toxic life last year - though I still managed to be positive.

I got the opportunity to work for the company I never imagine I would be, let alone be surrounded with the coolest colleagues and be here in the United States, work in our Main Office in San Jose CA. Wow... I have everything I could ever ask for.

I spent an amazing 8months in Spain which helps in my personal development. I no longer the Shy Shailany! Whoo!!! I am brave enough to face the world and whatever comes my way.

God has given me so much blessing! I'm so happy to be finally back my devotion to God and the church. To have met my church and CFC family. I have finally let go of all my sorrows that almost eat me alive.

Remember that many people will come to our life, some will stay, many will leave. Some will leave a trace, some won't. But don't let their disappearance bring you down, just remember, you had happy days with them and that you are glad you have met them. Just cherish every minute you spend with them.

Do not judge other people, everyone has their own personality and tendencies. We all deal with our emotions or problems differently.

Don't regret your actions if it makes you happy even for a short time... Just learn from your mistakes and don't repeat the same mistakes twice.

Your past doesn't define who you are! You are who you are today ;)

and remember, God is Good. All The Time.

Always,
The brave new girl

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When dreams become reality

It must be because it's raining that I suddenly reminisce those times that I was so busy dreaming about so many things.

1. I want to travel in Europe and have an unforgettable encounter. (November 15, 2014)
I met this cool guy who helped me find my way (Yes, I was like a lost kitten) We called each other now Bestie (we're the super best friend! He lives in Paris), and I have my little David key chain(I don't even know why I bought this! I remember very clearly I purchased this near the bus stations in some local seller when I was looking for a souvenir) that I still carry till today.
2. I always want to run away, start anew, from scratch, not knowing anyone. 
I did twice. Prague and Madrid.  These two cities are now my home.
3. I wanted to always work in Database area the moment I fell in love in this during my college days 
Now, I am working on a big company in Prague as a Database Marketing Analyst.
4. Meeting someone and falling in love in the craziest way maybe?
Like ignoring someone, and on the second time you met his gaze, you just fell? The first person you met on 2015, on new years day, at Vyserahd, sparkling fireworks in the sky.
5. Being crazy and dancing on the street?
I have a friend of mine who visited Prague and yeah, we were dancing in the street. Really really fun time.


Who would have thought that I have almost everything I have dreamed of? I can travel whenever I want to, I have my amazing friends, my family, career, and study are both going well. To think about it, my life is more than what I dreamed.  I think it's too much to wish for more. I don't want to be so greedy.

It all happened because I have patience.

I hope you too. Don't rush. But Don't be so Idle.

Always,
Forever travelling

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Life Year Goal (2017)

This 2017, I look forward to be a better version of myself. Someone who is willing to give without remorse, someone who smiles all the time, someone who doesn't complain in any little things that didn't go according to her want.  I will stop searching, I will accept whatever comes my way.

Smile a lot, and stop frowning and crying. Lead a good life and stop mourning about the past. Let it be my guide in facing life ahead. Never forget to count my blessings, and to remind myself how blessed I am. Why? Simply, because I can write this now. I’m so alive.

✔ DON’T BE LAZY!

✔ BE FRUGAL! NO MORE SHOPPING! SAVE MONEY

✔ BE HEALTHIER

✔ BE MORE BEAUTIFUL

✔ FORGET ABOUT THE AGE PRESSURE

✔ SMILE and LAUGH OFTEN, remember, it’s contagious.

✔ EXERCISE, WALK A LOT

✔ TRAVEL MORE

✔ LEARN A LOT

✔ REFRAIN USING SOCIAL MEDIA, START LIVING MY LIFE - 80% LIFE, 20% SOICAL MEDIA

✔ KNOW WHAT YOU WANT. DON’T KEEP CHANGING. STICK TO ONE.

Dream goal: Save money to buy my dream property in Czech Republic

By end of this year, I should be able to masters all the skills in Marketing, SQL and TESTING! I should be A2 SPANISH!

Travel only to Spain, Finland, Ireland, Portugal, Philippines

Half Year, beginning July- Start working!

Go home for Christmas

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Counting your blessings

2016 is over, but the memories of the past still lives on. I had so many ups and downs, that I really do not wish to remember, I don't want to remember once more how I behaved and acted so badly. I lost my temper easily, I was so impatient, I freaked out, I cried a lot but I certainly laugh more.

I met quite a lot of people who inspire me to do my best, to remind me that I am so blessed. The best and the worst trip of my life by far was India. During this trip, I was surrounded by people whom I cannot converse much due to language difference and shyness in speaking in English. I ended up in the shadow, there at the dark corner of the room while others are enjoying and having fun. Their laughters reminded me that I'm alone. That was during the first 3 weeks of our India trip, they are very nice people, it's just, something is wrong. It could be me, I didn't initiate much, or it could be them for not trying much, but it's okay, I found a good friend who saved me from my loneliness. The succeeding weeks, I joined the rest of the group for a summer school in Bhubaneswar, my network of friends grew bigger!!! I talked a lot, I laughed a lot. We shared good moments. It was fun! Gone are the days I'm lonely and no one to talk to.

This summer school has opened my eyes to what selflessness and art of giving are. I met an amazing person - Achyuta Samanta, who funded and run the KIIT university, where thousands of tribal kids are given a privilege to educate themselves, both academic and practical skills. Free accommodation, food, clothing, and more! They are taught what they need to know in order to survive this cruel life. I was so amaze by the smile of these kids, they're like angels! I also spent time with these kids playing during the afternoon, and learning some useful handicrafts from them. I learned how to knit!

Seeing how happy these children who are economically deprived, and yet given chances to live the life like other normal kids these days, makes my heart melt. I was so touched.  I couldn't contain my happiness seeing them smiling everyday. I realized that I am so blessed.

I'd like to give as much as I could without asking anything in return, I want not to have the feeling of "unfairness", because sometimes, i questioned things, which I know is really bad.

This 2017, I look forward for a better version of myself. Someone who is willing to give without remorse, someone who smiles all the time, someone who doesn't complain in any little things that didn't go according to what I want.  I will stop searching, I will accept whatever comes my way.

Smile a lot, and stop frowning and crying. Lead a good life and stop mourning about my past. Let it be my guide in facing life ahead. Never forget to count your blessings, and to remind yourself that you are so blessed. Why? Simply, because you are able to read this article. You are alive.

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Did you ever feel stranger with the people around you?

Lately, I've been feeling down. This is my fourth week being surrounded with Czech speakers... they can speak English but they are rather shy.  I'm the only person in the group who cannot speak Czech, I can only speak Tagalog and English, so the common language we have here is English... No words can express my loneliness, and sadness. I keep asking myself, why the hell I put myself in this situation.

I don't mind being surrounded with strangers who speak in a foreign language, because they  are strangers... I don't know them.. they don't know me... but being surrounded with familiar people but chose to speak in Czech, i'm so out of place.

The person I expected to make things easier for me became the person who makes it harder for me. I don't wanna be with this people.. as much as they don't want to be with me.  I could be wrong.


Ps.
8.24.16

These people became my friend by the end of the summer school! I'm so glad and happy. 

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A new friend

Naisin ko man na isulat lahat ng nasa aking isipan sa wikang Ingles, ngunit hindi ko magawa, sapagkat meron isang Czech na tumabi sa akin.

Here I was talking positive things in my previous post now only talks about negative things... People change according to where they are, what kind of environment they are. It's inevitable

It's funny, because this person became the bridge to befriend other people in the group. Her name is Viktoria, I call her Vicky, she's one of the loveliest ladies in the group. She's super friendly, she helped me lift my spirit, any make me smile. I found a new friend.

Things happen in a very unexpected situation. I'm glad, I went to India.

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How to lift your spirit when you are down

Each of us has its own monster that is eating us. It could be a failed relationship, it could be your work, it could be your friend, it could be your studies, it could be anything! With so many issues, often times we feel so down and helpless that even reading so many motivational articles or watching self help videos won’t help.

We are all unique. What may have worked for others may not work for you. Most of the times, we know exactly what we need to do, so basically you don’t really need to look for inspiring quotes or whatsoever. However, even if we know what we are to do, we just cannot do it. Why? Because it’s human nature to stick with what we’re used to.

Sometimes we blame other people when things got messed up, sometimes we put the blame to ourselves, and ask why? It is me? Am I not doing enough?

I also have my fair share of mistakes in life, I blame other people and most of the time I blame myself. But you know, blaming doesn’t help anything. It just put you in a misery. When your road becomes darker, turn on your headlight. There could also be a curve at the end of the tunnel, so take precautions, drive slowly. In life, there are so many events that could happen that you get confuse and don’t know what to do, stop for a while, check on yourself, turn on your headlight. Your headlight is your optimism! When you have it, you can go miles away, but don’t forget you need a gasoline, so carry your confidence, and make sure to bring with you your driving license. That’s your smile.

I’m a crazy person, i thought that by doing skydiving I would gain confidence, I would feel that I’m brave, and all those positive spirits, but I was wrong. It’s not something you can pick up just because you did something what others believe to be extreme! It’s all in the mind. If you change the way you think, everything around you will change! Always look at the brighter side.

You probably have so many detractors around you, remember, you cannot just control the way other people treat you. Let it be. Stop living your life in the judgement of others, why worry if you can choose to be happy? Stop wasting your time worrying about what other people think or treat you. Go out of your house, feel free. It’s your life. You are the driver of your own life, so whatever happens, it’s all up to you. Keep moving forward.

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A new journey

Lately, I’ve been so unproductive. I cannot believe I spent so many weeks thinking of the best way to quit my job. Having such good relations to my boss took me 3 months to get the courage to finally tell him, hmmm.. I’m moving to Spain. I thought of so many probabilities that could happen but I was completely wrong. He is such a nice person! He fully supported my decision and now, I’m kinda excited to start planning ahead.  I have so many on my table that I don’t know which to prioritize first. The 1month summer school to India – the visa. The Czech visa too. Documents I have to fully accomplish for Spain. My work! My studies – still have two exams left to do. This week is going to be hell for sure. But that’s okay, I’ll make sure I’ll have the best get away. I’m thinking of going to Czech Switzerland. It’s almost Spring, but still cold not chilly! I always wanted to go to that place but Lasko keep pushing it back. Hate that man!

This weekend, I went for a sweet escape from my busy life.  Guess where? It’s in Salzburg. I took the long hour bus ride from Prague to Munich to Salzburg. Inspired by Sound of Music. Seriously, I was so ecstatic when I saw the Mirabelle Garden, where Maria and the Vonn trap kids were singing Do RE Mi Fa So La Ti Do. It’s beautiful but not as lovely as my favorite Schoburrne Palace in Vienna. I also went to the castle – I forgot the name. Another best part of my Salzburg is no other than North abby! Another filming location of Sound of Music.

Another amazing place I visited was the Hallstatt. It’s also another favorite of mine, next to Germany’s Bavaria – in fussen where the Neuschantein Castle lies. It’s scenic and peaceful atmosphere makes me feel at ease. It’s really a good place to unwind. Now, here I am, cramming to finish my project to be able to participate in the exam on Thursday. Got tons of work to do. But I will give all I have to do it. I just love working in my company. The people there is the best. We’re like a big happy family.

In fact, they are my family in Czech Republic. Being with them, is definitely one of the best thing that happened to me. I’m glad I met Tomas, if it wasn’t because of him, I would have been in France, then, I wouldn’t meet my awesome family in Brand Embassy. See, things do happen for a reason. I hope I will have great friends when I move to Spain.  It’s starting a new. I want to keep chasing my dreams.

By 3^rd week of July, I will settle my accommodation and finalize my study structure and hopefully I will get a 1 week volunteering in Switzerland before I go to India for a month on August. By September 5, I will fly to Spain. Oh, I also look forward going to Inbound 2016 – where I will meet lots of marketers. That will be my first time going to New York.

4.24.2016. Salzburg. On the flixbus

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Dreams do come true

Who would have thought I'll be in Europe today, sitting in my lovely chair while listening to my favorite LP record. It all started with a dream. Wow.

Bottomline, don't just dream while sleeping. Dream when you are wide awake ;)

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It's US that I Miss

Love, Do you know what I wish?
A passionate yet tender kiss
Your arms around me...
Assuring and strong as it can be
This feeling of pure bliss I miss,
It’s “us” that I miss...

The loud silences
Yet, the volumes it spoke,
At the silences we mock,
Understanding it without a flinch.
It’s those moments I miss,
It’s “us” that I miss...

The disappointments, the silly fights,
The heartbreaks that bites-
Nothing, a few days couldn’t heal,
Nothing that a kiss couldn’t fix.
It’s those fights I miss,
It’s “us” that I miss...

The stupid dances,
The stolen glances..
The laughter and smiles,
The walks and the rides,
The long talks through the night,
The tight hugs with all our might.
It’s the little things that I miss;
Yes darling, it’s “us” that I miss...

-N

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I got flowers today

 I suddenly remember a poem which was discussed during my class in Humanity, 1st Year College. I kinda want to share it. I remember shedding tears upon hearing this poem. Really Sad.

I Got Flowers Today by By Paulette Kelly

I got flowers today. 
It wasn't my birthday or any other special day.
We had our first argument last night, 
And he said a lot of cruel things that really hurt me. 
I know he is sorry and didn't mean the things he said. 
Because he sent me flowers today.
I got flowers today. 
It wasn't our anniversary any other special day. 
Last night, he threw me into a wall and started to choke me.
It seemed like a nightmare. 
I couldn't believe it was real. 
I woke up this morning sore and bruised all over. 
I know he must be sorry. 
Because he sent me flowers today.

I got flowers today, 
and it wasn't Mother's Day or any other special day. 
Last night, he beat me up again. 
And it was much worse than all the other times. 
If I leave him, what will I do? 
How will I take care of my kids? 
What about money? 
I'm afraid of him and scared to leave. 
But I know he must be sorry.
Because he sent me flowers today.

I got flowers today. 
Today was a very special day. 
It was the day of my funeral. 
Last night, he finally killed me. 
He beat me to death. 
If only I had gathered enough courage and strength to leave him, 

I would not have gotten flowers...today. 

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You only live once

Since my dad fell ill and died, I suddenly had this blood rush. I feel like I'm running out of time, it's as if I will die any moment so I have to do things I can do. Madness isn't it?

I had a conversation to my friend on Facebook, when I posted this:

"It's crazy when I look at my newsfeed and I saw my elementary, high school and college friends posts - happily married and have their own family - how happy they are! And me? Travelling the world ALONE.

I don't envy them at all, but it made me think whether I am only young at heart? "

Until we came up with topic about Courage. She mentioned about being scared to step out of her comfort zone. This is what I said in reply. 

Remember, in life, you cannot expect to always have someone with you. You must learn to deal with loneliness. When I came here, I'm alone, in fact, I enjoy solitude, it gives me time to think. Endless thinking. Now, I'm still alone in my room and bothering my neighbor with my playlist containing only 1 song.  Seriously, at first, it can be scary,but you must learn to take chance. I can say, I'm no longer alone, I have my friends here.. and wherever I go, I always meet other people. Fail? It's only another reason to try. At first, it's so frustrating and but later on, you will get used to it. To stat from scratch? It's interesting. I always wanted a new beginning, a place where I don't know anyone so I can start anew. Have courage my dear, there's nothing to fear at all. One more thing! Don't put such great expectation on yourself. Don't burden yourself with useless worries.

She said she is afraid to risk everything and finding out later that its not worth it.

I said, she'll never know unless she tries. She has to learn to doubt her doubts and what if its worth it? 

She asked where to start. 

My reply: 

 If you know what you want, why you don't know where to begin? Surely, you will not quit your job without the guarantee of your plans. It's not so bad to leave your comfort zone, coz that's the only way to discover yourself. You can always ask Google

Always remember, everything starts with "initiative" then, we can go for "execution"  later. If you need a driver, let me know. I have driver's license. I can't drive for you, but I can teach you how to drive properly so you will not get caught into a major accident. Minor accidents is inevitable when you are a beginner.

 I'm not a good a driver, I almost hit someone before. I was freaking nervous. Thats why.. I'm so scared to drive! Im worse in parking too. If you understand what I mean, I always make mistake and fail a lot and it's a common thing. Plan doesn't always go the way you wanted it to be.

I was utterly surprised at myself, I cannot believe I said those things. Considering I'm so bored and just sitting in my one and only chair in the room gazing through the window at the world outside.  

If pessimism can make me rich, and let me do things I've never done before I will embrace it. But If it can only make me stay in my room the whole day and mope, fear to do anything, I'll get rid of it right away. I will subscribe to Optimism.   

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The Classic....

When the sun shines on the sea, I think of you.
When the dim moon light is on the spring ,I think of you.”
Look outside the window. If the branches swing gently in the wind, then the one you love is loving you too.
Open your ears. If you hear your heartbeat, then the person you love is loving you too.
Close your eyes. If there’s a smile on your lips, then the person you love is loving you too.”

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2015 New Year's Resolution

2015 is coming!!! Based on Chinese Fengsui, It's Snake year. I was born year of snake so I guess, it's gonna be my year :D Well, I do not believe on such thing simply because I am not chinese. I will determine my own faith.

Every year, I always summarize all of my accomplishment. Let's see whether I did better this year than last year.

Like my goal in 2013, I wished for a solo travel in Batanes, which I did. I had so much fun riding  a motorbike while screaming out loud. I really feel the world was mine. #SillyMe

I went for a winter vacation in Japan, visited hiroshima, nagoya, osaka, tokyo, and a mountain of snow., I forgot the name of the place though.  I think it isn't the snow that made me act like a child, it's the fact that everything is white. #imobsessedwithwhite

Few days after that, I fled to Vietnam. It was valentines, and there were so many flowers, "I saw RED and Heart everywhere. I discovered my obsession to bags too. Ho Chi Minh got good selections of bags. lol

March? I can't think of other events aside from my dad's death anniversary.

April - I think it's holyweek month. My family and I went for a joyride in Bicol. Such a lovely vacation, I was able to see Whale in Donsol, yet got sick the next day and failed to indulge in a blue sea. I cannot forget the splendid waterfalls too. It's so unfair!!!

May? I went to Korea twice. It should be the fan meeting of my dearest Jin Hyuk oppa, but due to the ferry incident in Korea, the event was rescheduled. I celebrated my 25th birthday in Jeju Island, then, went to Busan and finally Seoul. I did nothing special  here aside for nonstop shopping. It's very addicting! I went back to Seoul with my twin sister to watched a musical... I forgot the title. But the lead guy is really handsome! :D My sister and I went to Korean Folk Village, where we chased handsome guy dressed in traditional korean costume. It was so funny.

When I went back to Manila, I discovered my letter of admission from University of Vienna, but don't know what to do. The next month, my visa application to study in Czech Republic was granted.

Next thing, I acquired a UK Visa.

July and August - I don't remember anything special. I probably spent my days working.  Aha! August, I finally met Albert Martinez, an actor I admire since 14.  I remembered travelling to Malaysia and Singapore too. It was a very stressful week.

September - a month of my departure. I left Ph and went to London, discovered potato salad. haha..
2 days after, I flew to Prague and registered for dorm and school, 2 days after, I took the bus ride heading to Vienna. Alas! I saw mozart. I attended a classical concerto.. It was a magnificent night. I can't forget how I fell in love with Schoburnn Garden.

Start of school, I don't know anyone. Can't speak the language. Seriously, first week in prague made me want to move to Vienna. But after my team building, I get to know my classmates, and I feel at ease.

October - I went to Berlin, and lost my 150Euros, trying to be generous and loss all. I was upset for few hours but I didn't let it ruin my day. Moved to Munich and took the train to fussen to discover the castle of Ludwig II. That's my favorite part of the tour.

November - I went to Rome and visited the famous museums and church. I discovered Antinous, a roman love of emperor hadrien.

December - I fell in love in Paris.

I had so much fun bothering all my friends on Facebook and Skype on Christmas Eve, so on christmas day I was ill.

I didn't do anything good to others, aside from trying to help in finding direction but eventually misleading them. I gave my seat to those who need it most.

And now.. I need to come up with New Years resolution!

1. Wake up early in the morning to exercise
2. Don't follow no. 1

I think i have to keep improving in overcoming my shyness the most. My friends will say I'm very outspoken, but i'm so shy when it comes to strangers. I don't know how to initiate a conversation at all.


Ah! I didn't buy the iphone 6, instead, I purchased a japanese flip phone, which I find difficult to use.

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Expecting the Unexpected

I'll go to Roome 2 days from now, perhaps, I shall pray for miracles.. so I can pass a subject I am having a hard time :D

Life in Europe? It's fun. I have no expectation when I came here, so I am not disappointed. In fact, I am having fun doing things I've never done before. Not bad.


Ps. I got the points I needed to sit for exam.

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Are you millionaire?

A question popup to my head today.

ARE YOU A MILLIONAIRE? 
Not at all. Even if I think of the future, I don't think I can ever be one!
Why?
1st. I never ambition to be a millionaire
2nd. I never try a lottery
3rd. I do not steal
4th. I am not so hard-working to the extent of working 16-24 hours to get high salary
5th. I'm easy going

Even though I never wanted to be a millionaire, I still hope to have lots of money. Enough money to send children to school, enough money to support them till they finished college. It's one of my greatest goals in life.

There are so many things money can do, and that is through helping others and not just your self. You can even create a job for other people.

I do not have that much money, so I can only provide my services. I am definitely not the best, but I am trying to help with my own skills. I volunteer.

What about you? What can you do to change the world? Change always starts in our self.

If there's a trait a person must abandon, that is GREED. Greed is the main reason behind WARs,  Murders, Stealing and other heinous crime!

Change... for the better!

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do you feel as if someone controls you?

In life, there are so many things we cannot control. We often hear, it was us who draw and execute our plan, so no matter what happens, whether we succeed or we fail, we cannot blame others.

There are tons of things I wanted to do before I die, some of it, I have control, some I don't. Why? Because, I need another person to make it happen. There's nothing wrong being independent, and headstrong, and there's nothing wrong depending on others sometimes.

I really wanted to learn to swim, to be able to play piano and violin like others, but what I can do? I wasn't born rich neither born in a musically inclined family. That's one thing, we cannot choose who will be our parents. I dream of becoming a great artist, a painter, a pianist, a violinist, an architect, a writer, but I do not possess any talent! I tried learning as I have the means to study now, I can play minuet and moonriver. I tried my luck in violin, but my fingers won't follow!

 Today, the passengers of MH17 have no control to their deaths, they have no idea that they're going to die today.

And I have no idea what's going to happen to me after I posted this entry and go back to my hometown.
Life is full of uncertainties, so as my random thoughts.

Bottomline, just do what you want to do regardless of its consequence, but never blame others. Live your life as if there's no tomorrow. There's nothing wrong dreaming, it's the only free nowadays. Strive hard to achieve your goals, so when you succeed, you will be proud of yourself.

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