Since my dad fell ill and died, I suddenly had this blood rush. I feel like I'm running out of time, it's as if I will die any moment so I have to do things I can do. Madness isn't it?
I had a conversation to my friend on Facebook, when I posted this:
"It's crazy when I look at my newsfeed and I saw my elementary, high school and college friends posts - happily married and have their own family - how happy they are! And me? Travelling the world ALONE.
I don't envy them at all, but it made me think whether I am only young at heart? "
Until we came up with topic about Courage. She mentioned about being scared to step out of her comfort zone. This is what I said in reply.
Remember, in life, you cannot expect to always have someone with you. You must learn to deal with loneliness. When I came here, I'm alone, in fact, I enjoy solitude, it gives me time to think. Endless thinking. Now, I'm still alone in my room and bothering my neighbor with my playlist containing only 1 song. Seriously, at first, it can be scary,but you must learn to take chance. I can say, I'm no longer alone, I have my friends here.. and wherever I go, I always meet other people. Fail? It's only another reason to try. At first, it's so frustrating and but later on, you will get used to it. To stat from scratch? It's interesting. I always wanted a new beginning, a place where I don't know anyone so I can start anew. Have courage my dear, there's nothing to fear at all. One more thing! Don't put such great expectation on yourself. Don't burden yourself with useless worries.
She said she is afraid to risk everything and finding out later that its not worth it.
I said, she'll never know unless she tries. She has to learn to doubt her doubts and what if its worth it?
She asked where to start.
My reply:
If you know what you want, why you don't know where to begin? Surely, you will not quit your job without the guarantee of your plans. It's not so bad to leave your comfort zone, coz that's the only way to discover yourself. You can always ask Google
Always remember, everything starts with "initiative" then, we can go for "execution" later. If you need a driver, let me know. I have driver's license. I can't drive for you, but I can teach you how to drive properly so you will not get caught into a major accident. Minor accidents is inevitable when you are a beginner.
I'm not a good a driver, I almost hit someone before. I was freaking nervous. Thats why.. I'm so scared to drive! Im worse in parking too. If you understand what I mean, I always make mistake and fail a lot and it's a common thing. Plan doesn't always go the way you wanted it to be.
I was utterly surprised at myself, I cannot believe I said those things. Considering I'm so bored and just sitting in my one and only chair in the room gazing through the window at the world outside.
If pessimism can make me rich, and let me do things I've never done before I will embrace it. But If it can only make me stay in my room the whole day and mope, fear to do anything, I'll get rid of it right away. I will subscribe to Optimism.
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